I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She's like a pop up book from hell.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
