So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
