Apparently you make a good broom.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
