I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
