You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Dear god my vagina.
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