how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
