if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Couch. On fire.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
