So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
