you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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