guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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