my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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