so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Randomize
