Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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