Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
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