I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
