um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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