I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
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