During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
