Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
