i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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