I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize