and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
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