I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
