You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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