would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
You are the jesus of drinking
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
