I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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