We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
