This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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