the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
