You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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