I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
