Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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