You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
