i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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