There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
