Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
barbara walters just said penis...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
