I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I need moral support for this bender
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
