1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
