Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
