I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
