Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I don't think brook has ever known best
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
