It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
