I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
