There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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