woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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