If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
