My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
