do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
