I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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