Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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