are you still at the devil's house?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
