haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
